Christmas 2007

Katen is still under the lights today with her cool little shades. She's still having Apnea and bradycardia episodes where she'll stop breathing, her heart rate dips under 100, and nurses have to be stimulate her to get her to breathe. Although she was born at 36 weeks and at a good weight, she's responding like a younger preemie with regard to feeding and lung function. Our NICU nurse explained that Katen needs to be episode free for 5 consecutive days before she can come home so best case scenario - she'll come home in 5 days provided that the infection clears and she begins feeding better. Her neonatologist gave Katen a supository today and she was able to have a bowel movement. She's still regurging her milk but they're increasing her feedings.
It was difficult going to Christmas celebrations today without our little one. It felt strange traveling out of town and not being near her. Our wonderful NICU nurse did let us hold her though today even though Katen was not supposed to be removed from the billy lights. That meant a lot and Brianna is a very special nurse to us for that.
We're so ready for our baby to come home. We're also glad that the NICU is taking good care of her and making sure that she's stable before sending her home. It breaks my heart to hear reports that she's stopped breathing and it kills Mike to hear it too. We both hate to see her struggle.

Christmas Eve

We ran to babies r us last night to get the rest of the baby basics we needed. We also picked up a few tiny preemie outfits that will fit her better than the newborn outfits we'd bought for her.
Katen is under the billyreubin lights today. She is jaundiced and she hasn't had a bowel movement yet. She has been taken off of oxygen and her numbers are looking good so she'll be allowed to breathe room air now. One less tube - yay! Antibiotics will continue for now. Katen is having trouble taking in food. She hasn't developed her sucking reflex yet and is regurgitating most of the breast milk she's given. She does still have a feeding tube though. They've moved her IV from her head to her arm as you can see here.

December 23

I'm being released from the hospital today. It's so hard to go home and leave Katen at the hospital. I'll be pumping at home and delivering my milk to the hospital for feedings. Katen is looking better today. Her color is better. She's looking more pink. I hope we can bring her home for Christmas.

Here's a quick picture of the new family.

December 22

I visited Katen in the NICU this morning. Usually a very strong person emotionally, I broke down sobbing in tears when I saw my tiny baby hooked up to a million tubes and struggling to breathe. I feel like such a failure as a parent already. Poor Katen must be so uncomfortable. There's a feeding tube in her nose along with a breathing tube, an IV in her head, and oxygen, body temperature, and breathing sensors all over her. I got to finally hold her and do some Kangaroo care. (Kangaroo Care is skin to skin bonding which is beneficial to preemies and mothers for health and bonding purposes.) Daddy also got to hold Katen while I went to pump breast milk. Unfortunatley her nurses in the NICU left for lunch and daddy was very upset and panicky when Katen's vital alarms started going off and he couldn't get anyone to help him. These are not the kinds of first moments with your child that you dream about.

We had many visitors today despite the horrible blizzard that is occurring. Unfortunately we couldn't show Katen off because of the "no visitors" policy in the NICU but it was nice to see close family.

Happy Birthday Katen Elisabeth Remer!

So... yeah. We're stunned completely but very excited to be parents!I had my 36wk ob appt this morning at 8:30 and was dilated to 1. My Ob said that baby looked pretty cozy in there and to go ahead and travel for Christmas. I then went to work and at 10:30 I grabbed some breakfast and went to sit down in my office chair when a huge gush soaked the chair, my pants, and pretty much everything. I freaked out. Seriously I had SO much to do at work today. So I told my admin assistant I was leaving, walked two blocks to my car, and headed to the hospital. Meanwhile I called Mike but couldn't get a hold of him. The contractions started right away and I was told that I'd probably deliver around dinner time. I was determined to tough out the contractions until I really needed the epidural so I spent some time in pretty good pain thinking Mike would call back at any time and he'd help me through. At 1:45 I buzzed the nurse. I was out of my mind in pain and figured I wasn't far enough along for the epidural but wanted to at least check. They called the anesthesiologist for the epidural and did a quick check to see how far I was. Oops! The next thing I know the nurse has really big eyes and says, "uhhh she has hair! Honey I'm so very sorry but you can't have the epidural. You're too far." All I could think of is holy moly this is going to hurt and where the heck is my husband? Seriously I went from 1cm to fully dilated and effaced in a matter of 4 hours. So, at 2:35 Katen Elisabeth was born med free. She is 5lbs and 10 oz. I held her briefly and then she was taken to the NICU and put on oxygen and IV. Mike finally arrived at 3:15. He'd taken his team out for a Christmas lunch and had left his cell phone at work. No big deal though. I'm glad he got his lunch in and he didn't have any reason to believe that we'd be going into labor at 36wks. Based on the info from the OB that morning he thought we had plenty of time. Shortly after Mike arrived he was able to see Katen in her special care nursery. Each baby in the NICU gets their own room which is nice for privacy and noise reduction.
Katen's neonatologist spoke with me around midnight to give me an update. They'd taken xrays of her lungs and they showed fluid/infection so they were increasing antibiotics. Best case scenario she can go home in 3 days but more likely in 7. This lung infection was apparently caused because of the quick birth. Usually the lungs have time to empty of fluid while the mother labors but it didn't work that way for us. She was too anxious. I will begin pumping breast milk for her because she has not yet developed the sucking reflex and her stomach isn't fully developed. It will be fed in a tube that runs from her nose into her stomach. I will go to see her first thing in the morning and am very anxious to see her. The room felt empty without her and panic came over me each time a code blue was called for the NICU. I just prayed it wasn't my baby.